RSVP Invitation
By Ira Rasikawati
Etiquette helps us to maintain good relations with other people. No matter what our professions and social status are, our manners have a direct impact on our success. Although etiquette may vary depending on the region we live as the old saying suggests: ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do,’ International etiquette has played a significant role in promoting our social and professional success in today’s global society. We definitely should avoid making other people feel disrespected especially because of a lack of etiquette. One of the most common mistakes we make related to etiquette has to do with RSVP invitation.
I believe many of us often receive RSVP invitations. However we usually not only forget to respond appropriately, but also fail to notice this sign. One instance, there was one time when we (ULTC) send RSVP invitations; very few guests confirmed their attendance by the specified date. When we initiated to contact the guests, the responses we received were interestingly varied such as, ‘We are not sure yet but please provide seats for us’, ‘Why do you rush for a response?’ ‘Can we just show up if we can come on that day?’ At the beginning, it was a little surprising for us to have such responses to a very common invitation practice such as RSVP. We initially thought that those responses indicated either rudeness or ignorance. However we finally decided to think more positively that most of our guests were clueless about the RSVP term and etiquette. What is RSVP, why it is important, and how to respond to an RSVP invitation, are among topics to unveil to those in the dark.
RSVP is the abbreviation of a French phrase, 'répondez s'il vous plaît' which literally means ‘respond if you please’. Cambridge Dictionary defines RSVP as a word ‘used at the end of a written invitation to mean 'please answer.' Although the tradition originated in France, it has been widely accepted as international custom today.
Being unaccustomed to RSVP practice, we sometimes consider it unnecessary to respond if we do not plan to come to the event. Why is it deemed to be necessary to reply promptly if we receive an RSVP invitation? Responding to an RSVP invitation is a basic courtesy which shows our respect to someone who thoughtfully invites us. The host will consider us ignorant or disrespectful if we do not reply to their RSVP invitation. On the other hand, our response will help the host to measure the number of guests coming, the quantity of foods to provide, the room size to accommodate the guests, the sitting arrangement, etc.
When we receive an invitation, it is advised to always check if RSVP is required. If we find RSVP written on the invitation, we must tell the host whether or not we plan to come. There are certain ethics to follow in responding to RSVP invitations. Before we respond, it is important that we check our schedule. Once we have decided, we need to respond by filling out the card provided. The response card usually indicates the options of “accepts” or “regrets”. We can use the response card to mail back our reply. If there is no card or paper provided, we may simply write a brief message saying that “(our name) accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of (name of host) for (date)”. If we are unable to come, the message should say that “(our name) regrets that he/she is unable to attend”.
Some other invitations provide the host’s telephone number for us to call with our confirmation. Nowadays it is also possible to respond by sending emails. If the invitation comes with a “regrets only” option, it means the host expects us to inform only if we cannot attend the invitation. We do not need to explain the reasons for being unable to attend.
All type of responses must be done within three days after receiving the invitation or by the date specified in the letter. It is considered impolite not to show up at the last minute after we confirmed our attendance. If there are some real emergency, we need to inform the host of any last minute changes.
Although responding to an RSVP invitation is not a legal obligation, our RSVP demonstrates our best manners and intentions which will assist us in gaining social acceptance and success.
Glossary:
manner(noun): polite ways of treating other people and behaving in public
obligation (noun): something that you must do
promptly (adverb): quickly, without delay, or at the arranged time
References:
Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary. 3rd Ed. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Pilato, Dona. “The Meaning of R.S.V.P.” About.com.Guide. http://entertaining.about.com/cs/etiquette/ qt/tip122500.htm
“RSVP Meaning: What Does RSVP Mean?” Buzzle.com. http://www.buzzle.com/articles/rsvp-meaning-what-does-rsvp-mean.html
(published in UKRIDA Newsletter | No. 64 - Year VIII, February-March 2010)
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